1. Telemarketer's (is that even spelled right???). I do not need 1-800 numbers calling me in the morning. Or the afternoon. Or while I'm making dinner. I do not need to know who is starving, dying, homeless, handicapped, etc. etc. or why I should send them my money. I need my money. All of it. Sorry. Really, if you want something from me calling me at the most busy time of the day isn't the way to get it. That just plain pisses me off.
2. WHINING. Whining isn't a necessary voice. It is one of our voices, but we don't have to use it. Speaking plain English in one of those normal indoor voices will do the trick. Really. Would I lie?
3. Shoes infront of the door. Shoes infront of the door that keep you from opening the door. So there I stand. Arms full of crap from the car and a door that won't open no matter how hard I swing these big hips at it. Thousands of square feet here people...could the shoes be in another part of them?
4. Kids behind closed doors who do not hear the screams of the MOM stuck outside the door blocked by a hundred shoes. Okay, I exaggerated. Not really a hundred shoes, but close!
5. Asking a question that you just asked five minutes ago that I gave you an answer to. What that says to me is MOM I WASN'T LISTENING THEN, BUT NOW I REALLY NEED TO KNOW NOW. Right...and that is going to get me to repeat it with a smile. Hell no. I'll repeat it, but you'll end up with the five minute lecture about not listening that you won't listen to therefore this is a vicious cycle that will repeat itself until you move out of my house and do it to your wife. (I know because my husband does it to me which means he must have done it to his mother).
6. Other people's dogs. You know, the dog that roams the neighborhood while they are at work. The one who walks through my gardens, pees on the babies swing set and poops in the yard. Or the dog that runs wild at night because the People came home feeling guilty after working all day, eating dinner out and having a drinks while the dog is locked in the house so they set him free. I once complained to a neighbor about their dog being in my yard and chasing my ducks. That woman told me I should "be neighborly" and let it go. I told her (in a not-so-quiet voice in the middle of the post office) that if her dog was in my yard again it would meet my 44. There's neighborly for ya! (BTW never saw that dog again).
7. Liars.
8. Cheaters.
9. Thieves.
10. When the kids drink out of my coffee cups. I know that is a rather stupid thing to complain about, but it makes me nuts. First off, I collect cups and I don't want them broken. In fact, I don't want anyone else drinking up my memories from my cup. Okay. That is stupid, but I'm allowed stupid once in a while. Secondly, if they are drinking from a coffee cup that means ALL the dishes are dirty. No, the dishwasher doesn't work. No, I haven't hired a dishwasher (yet). No, NONE of us like to do dishes. If they are down to my cups, the dishes need washed. Nothing worse than going for a morning cup of coffee with eyes barely open and all the cups are dirty! This is what I ask the kids: "Do you drink coffee"? They always say no. Then I say, "then you shouldn't be drinking from a coffee cup". Pretty simple logic, I say.
11. Credit card offers in my mailbox. For awhile I would write "I DO NOT WANT THIS" "NO THANK-YOU" "DO NOT SEND THEM ANYMORE", and would return about three a day in the mail...they get to pay the postage. HA! Know what? I get about three a week now instead of three a day. I want real stuff in my mailbox. Letters, packages, magazines....not worthless crap.
12. People with two faces. Rather creepy. And not very nice.
13. I was trying to think of something really big for #13, but I'll have to go with running out of gas for the lawnmower. I know it isn't a biggy, but if you saw how pissed off I got the other day when MY gas can was empty and I couldn't finish mowing the lawn (which is my job since my husband has a breathing-issue-that-he-doesn't-like-to-talk-about and some of my children are pathetically lazy and some of my children don't pay attention to detail enough to run a mower through my yard). I pretty much feel that if I'm the guy that has to weed-whack for an hour and then mow for two hours (takes forever around those rocks), it should be someone else's responsibility to make damn sure my gas can is always full. (And that half-empty, half-full glass theory doesn't apply here...when you are out of gas, you are out of gas).
Holy hell, I've got to relax! I could have made the 101 Things That Annoy Me!~ So what annoys you?
The White House
