The White House

The White House

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Firsts...

It's the first time.....my oldest son will not have a first day of school.
It's the first time.....my second oldest will not have a first day of school even though he wants to.
It's the first time.....my third oldest will start her last day of elementary school.
It's the first time.....my fourth child will start first grade.
It's the first time.....my youngest will start school.
It's the first time.....my step-son will not have a first day of school.
It's the first time.....my step-daughter will start High School.
It's the first time.....my oldest step-son will enter the Fall as 21 and grown.

It's the year I am already 43 and will be 44 even though until today I thought I was 42 and have written that on ever legal documents I've signed in 2011.

It's the year my husband will be 49 and I thought was 47 so really he's almost 50 and that puts a whole new perspective on life.

I'm still doing the math because I still think I'm 42 and he is 47 and Aunt Carole is wrong. (She's right).

It's the first time.....in 13 years that I'm not excited about the first day of school. I want things to be different. I want my life to be "perfect" and it is not and I'm kind of pissed about it.

I read some words today that hit me harder than most from our dear Florida friend Chris: "I like to think God whispers to us, and sometimes He taps you on the shoulder,and sometimes He spanks you.We just have to learn to listen for the whispers, before we get spanked." 

Ummm, he's pretty much kicking me in the gut right now letting me know we should have listened to Him a long time ago. Thankful he forgives.

Tomorrow will come. It will go. Maybe it will be good. Maybe it won't. But I do know eventually the sun will set and the day after that will start. Every 24 hours we get another chance to do it right.

I'm working on doing it right.

4 comments:

sue in mexico mo said...

Let us know when you figure out how to get it right. We all need that answer in our lives. Life is hard. But life is also very good.

You can quote me on that! LOL

Bonnie said...

I do not think there is a right way to make a family perfect. Maybe choices we made steer us in the wrong direction. I think we cannot control all that happens to our family, we can pray, hope and protect as much as possible. In "You Are Captivating" by Stasi Eldredge she states....

"The joy of being a mother is so very closely linked with the sorrow of being a mother. It is holy ground."

FlowerLady said...

Dear, dear Gayle ~ Those are a lot of firsts for this year.

God does speak to us in many different ways and as you said 'every 24 hours we get another chance to do it right'.

Here is a favorite bit of scripture from Lamentations 3:22-24

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

We need to remember that He is our strength when we are weak, taking each day as it comes, trusting and hoping in Him.

Love and hugs to you ~ FlowerLady

Janie said...

That's a good attitude. Every day is a first for something, and we have to take advantage of the chance to start over. I hope things will be going better for you after a few months of "firsts".