It's the first time.....my oldest son will not have a first day of school.
It's the first time.....my second oldest will not have a first day of school even though he wants to.
It's the first time.....my third oldest will start her last day of elementary school.
It's the first time.....my fourth child will start first grade.
It's the first time.....my youngest will start school.
It's the first time.....my step-son will not have a first day of school.
It's the first time.....my step-daughter will start High School.
It's the first time.....my oldest step-son will enter the Fall as 21 and grown.
It's the year I am already 43 and will be 44 even though until today I thought I was 42 and have written that on ever legal documents I've signed in 2011.
It's the year my husband will be 49 and I thought was 47 so really he's almost 50 and that puts a whole new perspective on life.
I'm still doing the math because I still think I'm 42 and he is 47 and Aunt Carole is wrong. (She's right).
It's the first time.....in 13 years that I'm not excited about the first day of school. I want things to be different. I want my life to be "perfect" and it is not and I'm kind of pissed about it.
I read some words today that hit me harder than most from our dear Florida friend Chris: "I like to think God whispers to us, and sometimes He taps you on the shoulder,and sometimes He spanks you.We just have to learn to listen for the whispers, before we get spanked."
Ummm, he's pretty much kicking me in the gut right now letting me know we should have listened to Him a long time ago. Thankful he forgives.
Tomorrow will come. It will go. Maybe it will be good. Maybe it won't. But I do know eventually the sun will set and the day after that will start. Every 24 hours we get another chance to do it right.
I'm working on doing it right.