The White House

The White House

Friday, June 17, 2011

Blessings Are Right Before You

The other night when I had to coach Lucas' soccer I needed some soccer balls. I went to the association to get some. I am so glad they have opened up this road in the day time hours. Used to be we had to walk all the way in. That isn't fun with little ones.

This is my blurry shot of the "sunset" last night. It doesn't really set enough to get dark, but it was pretty. Much nicer that my photo shows.

We have a fairly new court house built in the heart of down town right on the river with lots of groomed green park to stroll in (with a slew of vagrant drunks...isn't that always the story). It really is a beautiful building. Just wish I didn't ever have to go there.
This is the groomed lawn of yet another legal building I was forced to visit today. Really? How is it that two parents can communicate for 17 years and then the month "he" remarries we're no longer allowed to talk to each other about our children. What a crock. Again, when someone smiles sweetly and says they'd never hurt your children, they are lying, and liars suck.
And yet a third office I had to go to. What a complete waste of a day. Unfortunately, I was 2 hours early with no where to go so I sat in the parking lot and watched the rain. I'm really patient like that. It's why I can fish for hours without talking. Just go with the flow.

In my time I watched the rain collect on the window and paralleled it to my life. One drop on the top slides a bit and catches another. Then another. Then another. Until they all come crashing down. So is this reflection that a person takes on a little and a little more and then a little more until they are overwhelmed and come crashing down OR is it like a family who grows bit by bit, doing more and more, until they are one collective force who are powerful? Hmmmm. Tell me your thoughts. (Or is it just damn water on the window and doesn't really parallel anything and I was just bored?).
Finally, I decided to just take a walk in the rain. I don't like rain, but when it rains I like to be in it. Something about the rawness of being soaked to the bone appeals to me. In my college days I used to purposefully go on 20-mile bike rides in storms just to feel the rain pelt on my face and the chill to my inner core. It makes a person feel really alive. Wish I still rode a bike.

After my day of legal stuff the sun came out on my drive home and I knew all was right with the world. I've never fought back. I've never intentionally hurt anyone, but for once I don't have to settle for making someone else happy. And if I have to take down the Universe I will. And it will not be pretty. I will not forget the wise words told to me today.... "it's time to fight back."


Stace said...

Good for you. I can't tell you how many of my friends have gotten divorced and said "he wouldn't do that.." meaning hurt them or hurt their children....only to have them turn around do exactly what they thought he wouldn't do...and still they don't stand and fight...and it totally p&$$#s me off! There is absolutely no reason why, just because we're women, we need to stand by and let an ex treat us and our children less than human..its wrong. (((HUGS))) I'm sorry you have to go through all of this though...sometimes people just suck. Hang in there.

RottenMom said...

You fight that effing Universe! If anyone can win against the Universe, it's you Gayle!

I love the rain and getting soaked to the bone and feeling alive. It's a good thing. My take on the raindrops rolling down the windshield are that they are a connected family, getting stronger.

You go girl!

Kim@Snug Harbor said...

Sooner or later the sun always comes back out. Some storms are just worst than others. This too shall pass. Hugs!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

a single drop is small and fragile but when it runs into another they bond and grow in strength only to continue forward

Janie said...

Sometimes fighting back is the only way.
I like the raindrop photos. Nothing like a good rainy day for thinking things out.

Corey~living and loving said...

when it comes to the rain....I think both your thoughts on the water on the window are good. Glad the sun came out at the end.