The White House

The White House

Friday, May 20, 2011

School: 13 years down, 13 to go

May 17, 2011 was the day my first born graduated from high school. (Incidently, that's 26 years to the day after I graduated). I had no problems finding him; he's the only one with dreads.
Perched high in the balcony we had a bird's eye view of the 200 graduating seniors of West Valley High School. I come from a small town with a class of 15 when graduation was an emotional time. This is my first big graduation and about as emotionless as they come. Now I completely get why my son had the take-it-or-leave-it attitude. The 13 years getting to that point were the memories...the ceremony was not. (See Nick...3rd row?)

Wednesday was Olivia's Kindergarten Celebration. She smiled like that the entire time. Definitely the happiest kid in the group.

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail as there are still the legal aspects that have not been determined, but Tuesday was a pretty devastating day. Not because my son graduated, but because my other teen was indefinitely expelled from school (pending a hearing) and is facing assault charges/jail time for a fight he was in. After an hour at the school I spent 3.5 hours sobbing harder than I have in my life before pulling it together for dinner and the ceremony (note swollen puffy eyes in above photo). I am not looking for sympathy. This is his own doing. Just pray for his strength and that of our family to get through this dark time with grace and humility. Incarceration, therapy, counseling, community service, fines, home schooling, banned from sports/activities are just the tip of the iceberg that we will be dealing with over the next year. Throw in court investigators and a custody battle and this, my friends, will not be a picnic.

The one thing I have learned is that every time I think I can't handle any more adversity I find that I am wrong. I never knew I could be this strong and deal with so much, but when you are a parent you just do. Or at least most of us do. Yes, that was an intended jab because through all the pain I still haven't lost my sense of sarcasm.

So there you have it.... good news, great news, bad's my life. I am proud of and love each one of my children no matter what the day brings. I will do my best not to whine on my blog and keep it happy and rosy.  After all, whining doesn't change anything and I am thankful for my good life as so many have much tougher times than we do.


Lori Skoog said...

Congrats to the graduate and no congrats to the son who is breaking your heart. You have had way more than your share of rough roads and you sure don't deserve any more bumps. He will just have to assume responsibility for what has happened...I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through one more thing. Kindergarten, on the other hand, looks like a happy place with one very special little girl in the picture.
I also love your hair short. You look great and your puffy eyes don't show. Hang in there Mom and Dad. Tough love.

FlowerLady said...

(((Dear Gayle))) You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Congrats to your firstborn on his graduation.


Denise said...

I am truly sorry for what you are going through right now. High school is really tough to go through and I know from my own son's experience there were times when it was definitely no picnic. You have my complete sympathy.

On the brighter note I loved all the photos you've shown today. Your little girl has the sweetest smile and the photo with you, your husband and your sons at graduation was great.

Corey~living and loving said...

Nick made a very handsome graduate. :)
Olivia certainly exudes happiness. Love her sweet smile. ♥
I am sorry for all the awful things that are happening. I do hope that you all have strength to make it though this mess.


RottenMom said...

I know you are not looking for sympathy, but, I am going to give it to you anyway. You already know that I think you are amazing. XO

Congratulations to the graduate! He did it! You did it!

Olivia is just the sweetest little thing.

Thank you for sharing the graduation pictures!

Tara said...

First of all, Congrats to Nick!!! We got his card and I smiled at the pictures, knowing that they were just exactly what HE wanted! You're a great mommy. :)

Second, I'm sorry about Elijah. We'll be praying for ya'll through this. HUGS for you!

Kim@Snug Harbor said...

Oh Gayle: My heart just breaks for you. I pray that things will work themselves out - and soon.

Paz said...

Congratulations to Nick...

Im so sorry to hear about Elijah. Hopefully he reflects on this and really learns something from. Hard to tell if they will when they don't have the maturity to see it yet. I pray that he does, and will pray for the family Gayle.

Gail said...

You will be in my thoughts.

Hollie said...

ugh, Olivia is too cute! And congratulations to Nick for graduating, the day itself is always a bit of a let down, but as you said, its the previous years that will be remembered.

As for the other stuff...big hugs and I really hope it all comes together for you, and that Elijah realises the long-term impact of his actions now and takes the steps to rectify the situation - theres only so much talking / nagging a parent can do, the child has to come to his own realisation...and I hope that day comes soon for E.

Little Black Scrap Cat said...

Many, Many hugs sent your way!! Lots of goodness mixed in with the crap. Hang in there, Gayle.

P.S. LOVE the short haircut!!

Stace said...

Your daughter has GOT to be the happiest little kid I've ever seen....I'm not sure I've ever seen a picture of her without a smile on her face...she must be one constant ray of sunshine for you :)
Congratulations to Nick...I love his dreads :)
As for the rest...well...when that kind of sh*t hits the fan for me I usually use the mantra "someday soon this will be nothing but a memory" and it gets me through the rough patches. Sometimes being a parent sucks...especially to teenagers who don't have a fully formed frontal lobe and can't seem to make logical/mature decisions. Luckily for us...and them...they outgrow that...eventually. ((HUGS)) will get better.

anymommy said...

Mom still deserves from sympathy for all the worrying and heart break and grief. Congratulations to your amazing graduates and I hope that, with time, things work out for your other son and the fear and uncertainty ease.

Janie said...

Congrats to the graduate. I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties with your other teen. I hope he will learn from the experience, but it's tough that a large part of the pain is piled on you. Hang in there.