The White House

The White House

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I Want to Throw An Igneous Rock. Hard.

Did you know that if a legal motion is made you can be forced to fill out 14 pages (plus 4 additional "explanation pages") detailing the amount of cash in your pocket, what you pay, who you owe, what you have, what you do, where you've been, every medication you've administered to your children their entire lives, who they've seen or talked to, what specialists they go to, test they've taken, help they've gotten, what your past was like, how you live in the present, what you wish for the future, your hopes, fears, concerns, AND you have to sign a release giving every single breathing individual on this planet who thinks they know what you do, think, eat, wear or feel permission to discuss their opinions of you and your family for AN ENTIRE YEAR with the legal system?  AND if you don't fill out the forms or sign the release a judge is going to force you to anyhow with the opinion that you are not being cooperative? Do you know how much time, energy, and emotion that can suck out of you? I do.

I do not fancy the idea of telling anyone how much cash I have in my pocket.  Or what I could "sell" to have more. Giving permission to every Joe Blow who says they know me, but really don't, to say anything they want about me or my family for the next year of my life is a ridiculous concept in itself. Would you want to give me permission to do that with you? Or how about the guy next door who sees you collect your newspaper or go for a walk or the person three cubicles down?  Do they really know you? Doesn't matter.  They can have an opinion, make a legal statement and affect your entire life from that day forward.

Do you know that any time during this long, invasive process you can suspend the "investigation" and come to a mutual agreement without exposing your entire family to a painful process?  Well, you can. If that "you" is the person who kicked the ball and started it rolling down hill to begin with.  If you are the "you" that would rather reach compromises without strangers it isn't an option to stop.  You just keep rolling with the ball. Just like that game of Plinko on The Price is never know where it will land, who will win and who will be disappointed (or hurt) along the way.

Personally, I would not chose to hurt anyone (even people I didn't get along with) nor would I want strangers to decide the direction of any one's lives nor would I want to broadcast and permanently record our lives for anyone to know.  But that's just me.

So instead I am forced to reveal things I've kept private for almost 20 years, involve people who don't need to be involved, be immersed in painful words I've kept silent for so long (and would continue to do so to make every one's lives better). I'm left with no choices. I can only pray that the ball stops rolling and compromises are come to before more painful memories are made.  I would rather suck up my hurt than hurt anyone around me so I'll just keep praying that becomes an option.

It's exhausting.

On the flip side :) we got out the water boots.  Emily wanted to go out and crack the thin ice, but when she did she got her feet wet so out came the tote.

 I know that we had more than ten pairs of water boots around here so we'll have to search for a second tote.  In the meantime, the hip waders were what fit (and she had fun wearing them).
 Sooooo much of my time is spent educating my children.  I'm beginning to think that if I could home school it would take less time.  Or at least that time would be spent learning and doing the things that interested them rather than the things we were told to do.  Not that this was bad.  I had fun working with Miss Em on her book report poster. She gets frustrated with her artistic abilities when it comes to replicating another drawing so we printed a picture and taped it to the window for her to trace and then color. She wrote out all the require components and then we put them on the computer to print.  She said that her poster was much neater than the other students' and that made her feel good. :) I hang on tightly to those positive feelings.
 Em is holding Brodie.  He came and spent two days and one night with us and his "girlfriend" Roxie (who was less than enthusiastic about the entire meeting).  Now we wait and see.
Tonight I spent two hours with Elijah in his room completing and studying two worksheets for Earth Science.  Then I made another 30 note cards.  The first set were more detailed, but it quickly became apparent it was overwhelming for him.  I made a second set that was limited to a few key words.  Hopefully, after another 1.5 hours of going over those something will click when he is staring down at his exam tomorrow.  It isn't a lack of effort, it is a lack of understanding and poor memory skills.  Do you remember the rock cycle?  How igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic rocks are formed? And if you are one of those that do...has it really been important in your life? Well, after all the hours we've put in this week I can tell you.  I just hope my son can remember it well enough to pass. A different educational setting would be so much more beneficial and successful for my son, but apparently after 15 years of raising him I just don't know as much as I thought I did.  Or at least am not being "allowed" to do them. In a couple short years it will be too late and he will have missed out on so much life due to ineligibility. What kind of affect will that have on his attitude? His future? Praying things change soon and he can come first.  As it should be.


Holly said...

Fingers crossed that everything works out. Only been reading your blog for a month or so, but you seem to put your entire life into your family and don't deserve the hassle you are getting from external sources.

I can't imagine living with all that snow though! I'm in the UK and just a couple of inches makes the entire country grind to a halt.

Stace said...

I've had to come back to this a few times...if I had written the knee jerk response I had when I first read your post, it most probably would have never made it to your comments. Nothing makes me more angry than when "parents" (and I use that word loosely) use their kids to hurt the other parent. And court systems and states sticking their noses in where it doesn't belong and wasting taxpayer money ticks me off just as much. I've seen too many of my friends go through this...and it is my opinion that the laws need to be changed.
Beyond spouting off about my opinion...I'm so sorry you are having to go through this...of all the people I know you are probably on the top of th elist of people who SHOULDN'T have this kind of stuff happen to them. ((HUGS))

Corey~living and loving said...

my heart hurts for what you are going through. I simply can not imagine. :( I keep sending good thoughts that it will ease up, and things will start looking so much better. ♥

sue in mexico mo said...

This is just not right! Hang in there.

Janie said...

I hope things turn out well. Being involved in the legal system is never fun.

Kim@Snug Harbor said...

Wow. That sucks. I don't even know what to say, because nothing I can say will help. But I feel your pain and frustration. And it's just not right that so much time and energy is being wasted on this. Your time with your kids is so precious and all this external crap is cutting into that. I'd want to throw a rock also. Maybe 2 of them.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

you being the more loving and caring parent have taken the high road and lets hope the selfish person taking the low road meets up with a road block so that ball doesn't roll too far

Bonnie said...

So sorry you have to go through all this. I agree with the homeschooling part and that each child learns differently. WE are lucky so far our oldest is not having trouble in school...yet.

Take care, praying for a peaceful outcome.


Lisa L said...

God I'm so sorry (and stunned at the 'system') to read this. Really? A year? That is just rediculous. I have a friend going through custody issues and it is absolutely criminal what some ex-spouses can get away with. Fingers crossed for only the best outcome. xx

Tara said...

we love you and are praying for ya'll, too. I'm so sorry for all the yuck :(