Resolutions...

I've been giving my "New Year's Resolutions" a bit of thought the last couple of days. And yes, I am aware I was supposed to make them before the new year, but I was busy.

Resolution can be defined as finding a solution to a problem. I tried to give some thought as to a problem I might have that I could work towards finding a solution for, but really, nothing came to mind. My husband, on-the-other-hand, does have some pressing issues that have him deeply troubled that he must find a solution for. Unfortunately, this isn't something I can do for him. If I could take his pain away and make it my own, I would do so in a heartbeat, but that is impossible. There are individuals that are causing him great pain for their own selfishness. He has to struggle with doing what is right and what is easy; what is kind and what might be hurtful; what is responsible and what is reckless. I know you see the photos of his smiling face and read my words of what an wonderfully honorable man and outstanding father he is, and you may find it hard to imagine that anyone would want to cause him pain, but they do. They have. They are. And for what? Nothing is worth this kind of heartache. So I guess as far as finding a solution to a problem I will continue to pray that my husband finds his solution and the pain, anguish and nightmare can be behind him. I'm pretty sure that is his goal not only for this year, but really for the next few weeks or months. It truly is time for our family to move on.

Resolution can also be defined as a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner. It think this definition is the one most people apply when ringing in the New Year looking for change.

So since I have no major life decisions pending I will base the resolutions of 2010 on pretty frivolous, yet fun, ideas.

1. I will teach myself to crochet. I knit and I do so slowly. I would like to quickly produce some blankets for family and friends. Maybe as next years Christmas gifts.
2. Complete scrapbook pages. For the last two years I made the resolution to make one page a day. I have failed. In 2008 I made around 30. In 2009 it was 11. Very sad, but I will continue to make that resolution and will one day succeed. (I'm already 3 behind for this year!).
3. I will finish reading that big fat book of seven Jane Austen novels that I bought last year. I am on page 53 of 1220. This might be a several year resolution.
4. Every child who lives under this roof will have a finished bedroom. Not a partially finished room. Not a bed in the middle of a disaster zone. A completely done and decorated room. (The kids don't even mind the chaos, but it makes me nuts!).
5. Roscoe will reside in our home unchained. That is going to involve some serious training. I may not be capable of doing this myself and may resort to hiring a trainer. Oh, wait. I killed the money tree. Now what?
6. I will live in a NO DRAMA ZONE. Our home will remain drama free. The drama of some has plagued our lives like a disease and it will no longer affect us. We have made the decision to live happily and not let all that anger and disappointment and sadness into our home. (We're already succeeding at this one). Only happiness will come through our doors. Yes, we still have to deal with all the crap out there, but we don't have to bring it in to our home.
7. I will teach my daughter Olivia to read (for the most part) before she goes to Kindergarten in the Fall. I say this because she is ready, she is bright and I am not giving her the time she deserves. She'll get that time now.
8. I will go fishing at least twice this year. I love to fish and used to do it when our fishing son lived with us, but don't do it anymore. I went once this year. Twice will be a double! :)
9. I will sew the 402 or so projects that have been started and stored in totes for the last ten years. I will finish them and give them away (or whatever), but I will finish them. I have entirely too many half-done projects sucking the life out of me like a leech sucking blood.
10. I will follow at least one blog from each of the 50 states just to get a little feel for how we all live so diversely in our one country. I wanted to do this last year, but never got around to it. I currently follow Florida, Oregon, Connecticut, Vermont, Alaska, Washington, New York, Minnesota, Georgia, Nebraska, Texas, Arizona, Utah, Pennsylvania and Indiana. That's 15 of 50.

So there you have it. I have ten things I will focus on doing in 2010.

And rest assured, I will be there for my husband to lean on in his time of pain while he finds a solution and ends this cycle that has put our lives in a rut and affected us so deeply.