Thursday Thirteen: Dreadful

Thirteen Things That Make This Holiday Season Dreadful....

1. Telling the boys they won't be able to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with me and do the things they planned because it is my ex-husband's year and he's taking them.

2. Dealing with their reaction and comforting them after I tell them. I have to use words the law requires instead of what's in my heart. My heart wants them to make their own choices, but my words will tell them they don't get a choice.

3. Spending Thanksgiving watching football without the boys. They love football. They play football. We have fun watching games together. My ex doesn't watch football. The whole game I'll be thinking of them.

4. Eating Thanksgiving dinner without my boys. They are picky eaters and I cook just for them rather than make them eat foods they don't like. The food isn't going to taste as good this year.

5. Putting up the Christmas tree is going to suck. Don't even know where to put it...upstairs where it is crowded or downstairs where we are working. I don't even want to have one.

6. Trying to decide when we are going to have Christmas since my boys can't be here. I don't even want to talk about it to make the decision. The boys and I are very close and just thinking about not being together makes me cry.

7. This is the first year in five years step-daughter Sydney won't spend Christmas with us. It makes me sad that it will make my husband sad. He's dealt with so much turmoil from his wicked ex-wife. I'd just want him to be happy.

8. It's cold. Like -20 cold. If the cold persists it will mess up snowboarding for the boys. For the first time in years they aren't travelling for hockey during the holidays and can actually go snowboarding, and the cold is going to ruin that.

9. Christmas is a Thursday which means my husband will have to work Wednesday and Friday. That is dreadful. He works too much.

10. Being depressed is dreadful. Thanksgiving is about family and without family there isn't Thanksgiving so that is depressing. Christmas not being Christmas is depressing. My boys being in turmoil is depressing. I want to crawl under the covers and wallow in my depression.

11. My shopping isn't started. That's dreadful and stressful!

12. The thought of not being in the livingroom downstairs by Christmas (and more importantly Elijah's birthday) is dreadful. Elijah and I have planned such a cool party, but it all hinges on the livingroom.

13. Christmas cards. Completely dreadful because I haven't started them. Haven't even decided what to send. I still have 128 wallet sized photos to cut out and label to put in the cards. Geez...I think I sent them last year AFTER Christmas. I was hoping to do better this year.

I hope the holidays aren't dreadful for you this year. Join the Thursday Thirteen by going here!