The White House

The White House

Saturday, September 17, 2011

This Was The View

This was the view from the plane I was in just the other day while approaching Seattle, Washington for landing. 

I am now in Oroville, California at the home of my brother and sister-in-law where my mother also lives. Getting straight to the point, my mom came home from the hospital yesterday to die. I've come down to be with her and help where I can. Her lungs have reached that point in life where they are too tired to work on their own. She's made the decision that she does not want to rely on machines to breathe for her therefore she's letting nature take it's course. However long that may be.

It's been over ten years since I've seen so much of my family....nieces, nephews, brother, sister-in-law, great nieces that I've never previously met....and I can't even explain the peace and comfort I feel here. I feel like I've "come home" and listening/watching/talking with everyone makes me feel so good I can't even put it into words.

Today, while mom was resting I took Penny's dog for a walk. 81* and sunny! (You all know how much I love the sun!) And it really glares off the concrete (something I'm not used to) so I may have to invest in sunglasses. I'm itching to get out and rake or sweep the drive...anything to feel that heat! Penny's napping as she cared for mom all night (I fell asleep at 3am and never heard them!) so I wasn't much help. I'm "on duty" now, but hospice comes soon and while they are doing their thing, I'll be outside!

*continued from earlier*

I did get in another walk with the dog and my great-niece Olivya. And then out again after dark when the girls and I played with a light up ball. It's been a full evening of visiting with Mom when she's awake, making sundaes with the girls, the arrival of my nephew Michael and his (pregnant) wife Karissa, Steven and Brittney's anniversary, playing with baby Zoey, kids visiting who consider Mom their Grandma and playing dice with Penny. Although the circumstances that bring me here suck...really no other word for it....the last two days with family have been perfect. It has so hit home that family is what has been missing in my life for far too long. Sooooo....I guess we either have to move to CA or they all have to come back to AK!!! What I wouldn't give to have us all neighbors spending our evenings together and having Aunt Penny be an influence on my kids (she is such a great mother!!).

I have no idea how long I'll be here for. Dying isn't something that is exact, but I do know this is a process that brings a family together. And I have the most amazing husband that has told me time and time again to cherish each moment, remember each detail and take as long as you need.

And so I will.


FlowerLady said...

Dear Gayle ~ What a beautiful view from the plane.

I pray that your Mom's passing will be peaceful for her. It's good that she has family and friends all around and that you are enjoying this time with family also.

Bless your DH's heart for taking care of the homefront while you are gone.

Love and hugs to all of you at this time.


sue in mexico mo said...

Thinking of you.

Little Black Scrap Cat said...

Bless you, my friend.

RottenMom said...

I am really sorry to hear about your Mom. I will keep her in my prayers. Isn't it sweet how she is bringing you all together before she leaves this earth?

I happen to see the post below before you deleted it. Maybe while you are in CA, even though it is under sad circumstances, you can try not to think about all that other stuff for the moment.

And yeah, you have a pretty amazing husband.

Take care my friend, I wish you strength over these next few days.

Lori Skoog said...

Family sure can make a difference. Glad you were able to go to California to spend time with your Mom and all the others. It sounds like it has made you realize how nice it is to be close to them. Maybe someday you can move to California and get out of that cold weather. Homer gives you such great support and you pass it on to others. I wish you well...and your family too.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Thinking of your entire family near and far.

Bonnie said...

Thinking of you Gayle. It will be 9 years Sept 26th that I lost my Mom. I will forever cherish the time I had with her sitting by her side in the last few weeks. I miss her!!

Hugs, prayers and it's good that you are feeling peace and comfort.

anymommy said...

My heart is with you Gayle. I'm so glad you can have this time with your mom and your family and so sorry that you are saying goodbye.

much love, xo, stacey

gpc said...

After years as a lawyer, I work now at a hospice. Your husband has it exactly right. Every moment should be cherished, and you will carry your mom forward with you all your life. My thoughts are with you.