The White House

The White House

Monday, December 20, 2010

*sigh*

I haven't been blogging.  So much that is going on at The White House has been so painfully dark that it didn't seem appropriate for the holiday season. 

- there have been hours and hours of study guides, books, assignments, papers.  Still not sure if it was enough.
- there was a birthday.  It came and went with much disappointment.  Wednesday we'll make up for it.
-there was a Christmas program.  It was so hard to get into the spirit.
-there have been tears, hugs, lies...horrible, awful lies that led to so many discussions it makes my head hurt.  The boys are fine.  Great actually.  They are men.  They know what they know and all the BS isn't going to change how they feel.  It's a little harder on us girls.
- the pigeon is dead. I feel like shit about it.
- it's been unbearably cold for so long.  With all the other stress it seems the cold is getting to me more than normal.
- there have been basketball games.  God, I love that kid.
- there are 476 photos to look at from Friday alone.  I've lost interest.
- five days until Christmas and there are no presents.  And I don't care. It's hard to worry about presents when every morning brings another day of drama.  I feel really really old.  I cry a lot. I've run out of rope.  And no, I don't share every bad thing so just know it is there.

I'm trying to put on my big girl panties today and smile, but it isn't working so far.  I have342 things I should do and I just want to sit and hold my kids.  So that's what I've been doing.
They are my world. My reason to breathe each day.

So the only photo I'm going to share from this last week (actually just yesterday) is this:

I cut out this year (and last years) school photos.  I even wrote on the backs of every.single.one. Now I just need to buy some Christmas cards and mail them out.  Do the stores still have cards five days before Christmas?

And if you were hoping for a more entertaining post.  Read my weekly to-don't list. It's a riot.


11 comments:

Teddi said...

chin up and things will get better..you are a great parent just from reading ur blog.
Have Faith

Teddi Olvera

Egghead said...

Make some Christmas cookies and eat them all. That should make you better or at least put the focus on your stomach ache instead. Seriously I am sorry for all that stinks and only wish you a very happy Christmas. Hold you babies and forget about everything else. Soon enough this will pass and the days will become longer. Hugs!

Diana (Di) said...

Hey Gayle, I wanted to stop by and wish you and your family a joyous and blessed Christmas. See you in the New Year. ;)

Pattycakes said...

My facebook post earlier today was:
Your kids need your presence more than your presents. Sounds like you are giving them the best gifts this year!

sue in mexico mo said...

Hang in there. . . I know, easier said than done!

I agree with Egghead, things will look better as the days get longer. The sun will come up tomorrow, etc.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

There are strength in numbers and your family will rally and get through this gray period. Who cares about the presents or stuff like that. Being together and loving is what counts. Big hugs my friend.

Tink *~*~* said...

Someday, when I am supreme commander of the universe, whomever it is that's torturing you will be very, very sorry for making my friend sad. :(

*~*~*

Martha in PA said...

When all is said and done, your children will remember you holding them and being there for them way more than any Christmas gift. Family drama is never a good thing, but it is made far worse by all the stresses of the holidays. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Making that hat was probably very theraputic!

Lori Skoog said...

Gayle...I sure hope you can get through this whole thing sooner than later. It may have temporarily crushed your spirit...but you are a very strong (not old) woman. You seem to be concentrating on simple pleasures, and they are the most important. It can't be easy for the kids either. The moon picture is beautiful...how sweet that they could be there with you...but Cold~!

RottenMom said...

Gayle,
Hang in there sweet pea. If any one deserves a light at the end of the tunnel it's you. You are an amazing Mother and Wife. In the end it won't be the presents they remember, it will be that they are deeply loved.

thecrazysheeplady said...

{{{hug}}}