The White House

The White House

Thursday, January 29, 2009

I Hate Subaru's

Is there anything more painful than waking sleeping babies?

Yes, there is.

That would be waking sleeping babies, dressing them in a frantic rush, dragging them out into -15 degrees to a truck that isn't warmed up to go to a doctor's appointment for your older son that you may or may not have forgotten about.

There are two ways to town. One is drive down Chena Ridge, but in the morning you are going to make a lot of stops for the school bus. The other way is to take the Parks Highway. That may be worse for my blood pressure.

If you come upon a line of slow moving cars I can guarantee you the lead car is a Subaru driving Democrat from Ester driving seven miles an hour under the speed limit to save $1.23 a day in fuel so they have enough money to buy $5 a-bottle organically grown honey-wheat beer so they can drink healthy alcohol. If you have somewhere to be you will encounter this line of cars in a no-passing zone. Always.

Eventually, I came to the truck passing zone. While the I-haven't-bathed-in-two-weeks-and-I-have-dreadlocks Subaru driving Democrat putts along contemplating his Carbon foot print, I kicked down my diesel guzzling SUV and dusted him with snow arriving to the appointment on time. Almost. The extra $1.23 I spent in fuel will counter-balance with the fact that I drink cheap beer.

I'd like to tell you about Elijah's foot appointment, but to relive one hour and 45 minutes in the office with a two and four year old , and possibly worse...a 13-year old makes me shudder. The gist of it is we went up to the office on the 4th floor, back down to X-ray on the 1st floor, back up to the office, back down to take more X-rays, back up to the office dragging screaming toddlers all the while. Really, is there a better way to spend a Thursday morning? Maybe having your toenails ripped out.

Elijah has an accessory bone in his heel. Not to be confused with earrings which are also an accessory, but they can be taken out. This heel accessory cannot. Well, it can, but that is last resort. He'll be going back in about ten days to get fitted for an orthopedic device that will "make it all better".

Right. And my kids won't scream the entire time either.

p/s If I offended any slow-moving, Subaru-driving Democrats that was probably my intention. Grab a honey-wheat beer and get over it. I'll offend someone different tomorrow.


stace41971 said...

You have those too! There are subarus all over the place here..and every one of them has a bumper sticker with either a peace sign, or something about how Bush is evil. I have noticed a trend though, many are trading in their subaru's for prius's...better gas is getting more expensive.
I feel for you...I'd rather run naked, slathered in jelly through ant hills than take toddlers anywhere that they have to wait.

Lori Skoog said...

Gayle old (and SJ) really have a thing going about Democrats.

Little Black Scrap Cat said...

OMG! I sooooo feel for you!! Toddlers in "wait" mode!! That's even worse than ME the other day - WAITING for the phone to ring!! Made me crazy!! And I'm definitely NOT a toddler!!

Eventually my calls came through. Brought me to another day of waiting. Today I got the call I was REALLY waiting for.... I had a doctors appt for 2 months out.. NOW it's on Tuesday!! There is hope after waiting!!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

nothing like a nice drive to make you appreciate staying home.

Tink *~*~* said...

It's too bad you can't put them in storage or something until they are past the toddler thing. Try to stay warm!

Tink *~*~*

Amanda said...

Ohmygod!!! Thank you so much for the laugh today!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!

Sorry to hear about the little ones, and the foot!!!!

Anonymous said...

Gayle, so true...I pass those people too......we have so many of them in Alaska too. ugggg! I can totally picture the scene!

Jess said...

...and it's always when you have to be somewhere... it happened to me the other day when I was taking Sam to the eye doctor.

So, do I need to worry about you because of the valcono that is supposed to erupt?

Becky said...

I love you writing! I too drive the guzzling SUV and drink cheap beer or wine what ever I can find that day. I know I haven't been around, but we too were at Dr. appts, and birthdays, and anniversaries. January is a very busy month. But I am glad to be back. Now I have to go and catch up on your stuff.

Tootie said...

First, Hope the foot problem improves and I hope the toddlers get over the trauma. :-) You had me laughin' my butt off. I hope tomorrow is a better day.